The Lights Go Out
by TrickstersImp
Summary: Every relationship will always end, no matter how hard you wish it wouldn't. No matter how long you cling to the remains. Because no matter how bright the light is when it is lit, eventually the lights will go out.


A relationship always seems like it's to last forever, it's enviable. If it's a good relationship then it will. You'll imagine yourself walking down the aisle in a big white dress, with that guy you're in love with looking back at you with a big goofy smile on his face.

Everybody is susceptible, from that moment you see a person you like and you think, maybe, just maybe they like you too.

Jade thought she wasn't, she thought she was a better judge of a relationship than that. Jade was wrong. She was so wrong.

In the day of the relationship, when everything is going well and you feel like your living in a fairy-tale world, in the day everything is perfect. It must last forever because why would it end, you love him, and he loves you. It's like performing a show, you get that rush of adrenalin and all those little things that were bothering you don't matter because of that feeling of being up there, performing.

People at Hollywood Arts love performing, it's why they're here… and Jade loved Beck much more than she ever loved the spotlight, even if it didn't always seem like it.

But eventually the curtains draw to a close, everybody takes they're final bow, and then the lights go out. If you haven't left yet, you're sitting in a dark cold theatre all alone. That's where Jade was at the moment. But she wouldn't leave that theatre… even if there was nothing remaining, she needed Beck back.

I knew it was none of my business, I knew it didn't matter at all. In fact some told me that this was my chance to get the guy I always wanted, and I guess it was true. Can you blame me for liking Beck, my very first day into school and he just gave me a look which made my heart melt.

It turned to mush under his gaze and as hard as I tried would not become anything back to normal again for years. I never built up the courage to tell him though, and by the time I did it was far too late. He was Jade's boyfriend and I would never hurt Jade.

I would never dream off it after what Jade has done for me. I know I can be an idiot sometimes, or well, most of the time… but she stands there and she stays with me. She made it so I didn't have to grow up, I could keep my innocence for a long as I wanted.

But eventually everybody has to grow up.

I am no exception.

I am not Peter Pan, nor can I live forever, fighting a pirate and flying around with a fairy, just like I always dreamed of when I was a little girl. I would run around my room, jumping of my bed saying 'I believe' and falling flat on my face. The amazing thing is that I always picked myself right up again and ran around the room some more.

And Beck… Beck was an old dream, maybe he'd end up with Tori, as much as Jade would despise that, before that ends too as all relationships do. But he wouldn't end up with me, because I was were Jade was… alone in the dark, in that theatre after the show has ended and the audience has gone home trying to grab and the remains of my relationship with Robbie, and before that my relationship with André, and Daniel before that, and all these names stretching out in front of me.

I wasn't good enough for any one of them.

And even though I was in a dark theatre, like Jade was… we were blocks away from each other, there was no home of us comforting each other. Because while the play is happening… when you are in love, it is your number one priority, and your friendships fade into almost nothing-ness. So when the lights finally go out, the people who were there before any of this even started, are gone.

They are always gone.

I have enough experience.

So the only way to get out of it, this recurring loop that only ever ends in pain is to move on with it, get out of that place and go home, don't fall in love. That would be the smart thing to do.

But imagine a life without love. Truly imagine it for a moment, it's a horrible thought. It would be like a life without happiness and although all of us do get depressed being permanently like that would make life not even worth living at all.

I'm depressing you aren't I?

Maybe I should be hyper and happy as I supposed to be all the time. You've never exactly seen me depressed have you? It happens to me just like it happens to everybody else in the world. In fact it happens to me more than most people… I get mood swings you see, if you haven't noticed and one moment I can be jumping up and down for joy, and the next I like well, this.

Yeah, you've probably noticed.

But life is not all bad; it has its ups and downs. All you really have to do is to leave the theatre once the show is done, and not let the end of one good thing mean that your life has no purpose anymore. Maybe you'll back for a sequel before the whole series ends.

Or maybe you won't.

But you know what, it doesn't matter. You'll fall in love a million times in your life. Just because you don't love them anymore doesn't mean the whole thing was worthless. It just means you have to move on, at least you'll always have your memories, locked inside your own head where nobody else can see them and nobody else can mess with them to change what you remember.

Sometimes it seems like a different life when I told André he was the only guy in the world that I would possibly want to be with. Or when I told Robbie I loved him. But it wasn't, and I will treasure that and keep it close.

And was I lying to them? No, I meant it all, every single word as I said it… it may not be true anymore, but it was then.

And so I know Jade will be okay, she is not the type of girl to sit around moaning over one person, I know she will pick herself up and look for another way to find that feeling, the feeling you only get from having someone who loves you. And maybe it will be with Beck, or maybe it won't… that is not my problem. Jade will be fine.

But me… sometimes I worry about what is left for me. I worry if I will ever be anything more than the idiot. But I can apply the same logic, maybe I will, maybe I won't.

But I know for once in my life I will be strong, I will pick myself up. I will move on.

Because when the lights finally go out, what else is there to do but to look for somewhere bright?

**Sorry, that was awful wasn't it? I read a prompt and it kind of spawned imagines in my head. (The prompt was 'the lights go out')… it was originally supposed to be Bade, which it still is slightly.**

**Anyway, tell me what you think… you know most of my stories get at least a hundred hits, if a tenth of you would review I would be ecstatic.**

**The Name Is A Lie, As Is The Cake**

**I-Am-Not-A-Smiley-Person**


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